“I’ve had hormonal problems all my life. It is probably because of the judgment that I’ve carried around my body. When I was a teenager, people would tell me that I’ve got such a pretty face, why don’t you lose some weight?”
She further added:
“It’s not a nice thing to say to anyone. Be it a child or a grown-up. So, I’d starve myself, I’d go through crazy exercise regimens and lose weight. Then the hormonal issue would settle for a bit before it reared its head again.
Weight loss, weight gain, weight loss, weight gain was my pattern for as long as I can remember. Years ago, I stopped watching my shots on the monitor at shoots because I’d look at the monitor and be thinking, Am I looking fat?”
Making a final remark, she further added:
“When people tell me why don’t you start exercising, I want to say f**k you! How do you know I haven’t been exercising? Do you know how hard I exercise? Do you know what challenges I’ve been facing?”
“Do you know that my hormonal problem has made it impossible for me to lose weight for years in between? Not just that, there was a period in between when the more I’d work out, the more I’d put on? People would insinuate that you must be eating unhealthy or that you’re lazy.”
“And these things stick with you. It would anger me no end. I kept wanting people to stop judging me. But over time, I realised that people judge you/your body only if you do.”
I hail from the city of Guwahati, Assam and strongly believe in finding a meaningful contentment in the subtle things of life. A published writer and an avid lover of literature, I am someone who is composed out of pain but watered with joy.